Some of you may remember a column I wrote here a while ago called 'Most Wanted, Vol. I' in which I complained about certain wrestling fans on the internet and they way they appear to hate just about everything about something they supposedly love. It was... a little controversial. I got a heck of a lot of feedback - some positive, some negative.

I had always intended to write Vol. II with the same structure as Vol. I, with a list of wrestlers that fans on the internet tend to hate and the ridiculous reasons why, with intent to expose some of the inherent hypocrisy of these fools' opinions. I'd even started planning it by taking note of which wrestlers are currently not in favour with the general internet consensus, and of course, who weren't already in Vol. I. Rob Van Dam, Matt Hardy, Paul Burchill, Paul Heyman, Low Ki, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Jericho, and Chris Benoit were just some of those who would be included. But when it came to doing the damn thing, I couldn't. Y'see, writing Vol. I allowed me to vent my frustration. I just wasn't pissed off enough to write an angry column.

Now I'm pissed again. Why" Because of one fan who seemed to embody every negative stereotype about internet fans. He seemed to hate EVERYTHING. Here are a few choice excerpts that will hopefully show you just how big an idiot this guy is. I'd use stronger language, but for fear it would offend someone.

On Brian Pillman - "Needn't speak ill of the deceased. It's bad manners, not to mention karma."

On Bryan Danielson - ""American Dragon"" More like "American Monitor Lizard." Don't you just love this guy's "SmackDown!" psychology" Pretty spots and impossible quickness do not make you a "good" wrestler. Each and every time I see you enter a ring, I know I'll be getting essentially the same match I saw you participate in the week prior. How many enzugiris, roll-ups and top-rope maneuvers must I endure before you get the hint" It's not how the moves are executed (although, it helps), but how they're utilized in context to and, ultimately, with the match. You don't put someone in a modified figure four one moment and then slap on a "Strangle-hold Gamma" for the submission. It's just not acceptable in my book. You just keep doing what you're doing, Bryan. Keep executing those planchas, those variations of every other cruiserweight move in the book, whatever. But you'd better believe, A.G., that when you come to my town, you WON'T see me at your beloved event. If anything, the whole place will tire of your redundancy and jeer you from here to Azerbaijian."

On Chris Benoit - "He [has] the charisma of a rotting corpse...recently, his work ethic...[has] left me with a feeling of deep disgust...his many "epic" matches against Kurt Angle left much to be desired."

On Eddie Guerrero - "[He is] a shell of his former self... wrestling in tired, predictable title matches at sub-par Pay-Per-Views that couldn't draw flies if the arena was smeared with excrement."

On John Cena - "Oh, John Anthony Felix Cena, what have you done with yourself" Why do you feel the incessant need to erode Mark Wahlberg's legacy as perhaps the most hated, despised poseur this side of Vanilla Ice" Your shtick has been seen, and executed, by more talented (on the microphone, at least) wrestlers such as Dwayne Johnson, Shawn Michaels....hell, any cocky crankshift who's oozing braggadocio has done it better than you. I urge you, give it up...[your moves are] as flaccid as my grandfather skinny-dipping in a cold, icy lake in the mountains of Vermont. "

And it went on like that. Believe me, after reading this, I was in a raging fury. "What a ******************" and so on. I don't care if you agree or disagree, what in the blue hell gives this guy the right to talk like that" So I decided I would write another rant about internet fans. But before I continue with the angry unstructured outburst, which is what I'm sure this will turn out as, a word or two of warning: This does not apply to every fan on the internet, nor is what I'm about to say be taken as undisputed fact. It's my opinion, and if you agree, great, it's nice to see I'm not the only one annoyed by these people. If you don't agree...that's to be expected.

One thing I'll never understand about fans on the internet is the irrational hatred of TNA. There seem to be a variety of 'reasons' for this, which I just don't get. The average fan on the internet has an intense dislike for most of what WWE does most of the time, so you'd think that The Only Potential Alternative To WWE Currently On National US Television would be universally supported by the internet. But it's not. Instead, it's hailed as "the new WCW" and fans talk about when it will die, and how happy they will be when that happens. First, I'll address the supposedly imminent death of the promotion. I lose track of how many times it has been proclaimed, but I do remember it being prophesised for sometime in 2005 (actual dates vary). It confounds me as to exactly why the end of TNA is a good thing. Then there's that "new WCW" moniker. It's odd, because presumably the intended response is that TNA is dross that deserves an abrupt and painful demise. But the real oddity is that the fans that refer to TNA with this name - the most cynical of internet fans - are pretty much the only fans that seem to praise WCW and its endeavours. It is not a little confusing.

There are many petty, pedantic reasons why the haters don't watch TNA, and I won't bother going into them here. I will make mention of the one that seems to crop up time again; "I hate TNA because it's full of wrestlers who weren't good enough to make it in WWE". Now, I've addressed and silenced people who claim this simply by listing some of the many TNA wrestlers who could never be called WWE rejects, but I'll take a different approach here. Looking at the TNA roster, it'd be stupid to deny that there aren't former WWE wrestlers there. It's that 'they weren't good enough for WWE, therefore TNA must be awful' philosophy I have trouble with. Not good enough" I had not idea that leaving WWE meant you no longer had any talent. Someone had better tell Jerry Lynn...all those classic matches he's had in the past few years must have just been in his imagination...he's a WWE reject, he can't be a good wrestler! All those great promos and hardcore matches Raven's had since 2003 mustn't have happened either...he's just a WWE reject, he can't do anything worthwhile. As for the likes of Ron Killings, Sean Waltman and Rhino - they'll have to be informed that their career rejuvenations have never happened, because they weren't good enough for WWE and logically can't be good at all. Now I come to think of it, it's a pretty good thing those fans who have never watched TNA but feel inclined to pass negative judgement on it nonetheless made the 'argument' they did. Wrestling would be so much better off if everyone who left WWE went into permanent retirement immediately after...

The next point of contention for me is the plethora of 'insider terms' unnecessarily used by the average internet fan every day. I've never understood what using these words and phrases accomplishes. I assume it's to impress other fans or to show that because one uses them, one must have intimate, exhaustive knowledge of the wrestling business and all its inner workings. Right"

There are some of these words I don't have a problem with using. I understand that saying 'good guy' and 'bad guy' when talking about wrestling does sound a little childish, and there's no real alternative than to use 'babyface' or 'heel'. Those are terms that can be found in everyday use anyway. I remember a friend saying to me after having an angry confrontation with someone else, "I felt like such a heel," and they'd never watched any wrestling in their life, much less had knowledge of 'insider' terms. There's the occasional other word with no feasible alternative, such as 'kayfabe' or 'bump'. But there are two terms in particular that I read and just think "huh" What the [blank] does that accomplish""

The first is 'worker', meaning 'wrestler', as in 'my favourite worker is the Undertaker'. What I'd love to know is, what the hell is so damned wrong with saying 'wrestler'" Okay, it's two letters longer, so it'd be reasonable to think that it takes a fraction of a second longer to type out. Using 'worker' would save time if this was the case, allowing you to say more with however long you are on the internet for. To discover whether this was indeed the case, I found a stopwatch and timed how long it took to type 'worker', and then 'wrestler,' allowing, of course, for keyboard-to-start/stop-button time before and after each word. Turns out that it takes approximately 0.9 seconds to type the word 'worker', whereas typing the word 'wrestler' takes about 0.8 seconds. So it can't be convenience. It has to be the sounding clever thing. If you say 'worker' instead of 'wrestler', people must think you're in the wrestling business. Wrestlers...I mean, workers, sorry...Workers who actually wrest...no, my mistake...Workers who actually work say 'work' and 'worker' so naturally any real fan would use them too. Makes sense. I wonder how many film fans use movie jargon when talking to other film fans" All I know is, next time someone asks who the world's best worker is, I'm gonna say what I really think; Jim from accounting. Shows up on time every day, never comes back late from lunch or a break, sometimes stays late, does what he's told, gets the job done. Jim's an excellent worker.

The second is 'spot', instead of 'move'. Now this one I am really at a total loss to attempt to explain. Why is it better to say 'spot' instead of 'move'" I just don't get it!

I don't think I'm alone in disliking this over-reliance on 'insider terms' from internet fans. A lot of wrestlers aren't keen on it either. For example, in his ROH shoot interview, Steve Corino talked about how if he was at a show, and one fan in the front row was yelling things like "I paid to see you juice! When are you gonna get colour!" and another was yelling things like "Homicide's gonna kill you!" which fan is he going to respond to"

Call me stupid, but I think that you can be a knowledgeable and intelligent wrestling fan without having to depend on 'insider terms'.

As if using these words at every opportunity wasn't enough, a minority of internet fans will refer to wrestlers by their real names only. Chris Jericho" No, it's Chris Irvine. AJ Styles" Who" Oh, you're talking about Allen Jones. I don't think I can even put into words how totally ludicrous and downright stupid this is. Can you imagine a filmgoer asking a friend what their favourite Jerome Silberman movie is" Or a music fan talking about how Chaim Witz is the best frontman in rock history"

I can kind of grasp the appeal of using 'insider terms' - makes you feel like you're part of 'the business', talking like the wrestlers. That appeal simply does not exist with real names. Why" Lance Storm can explain. "...We get offended when fans use our real names. We don't even half the time. Unless I know them extremely well or knew them before, I use their work names. I call The Undertaker, Taker and HHH Hunter." Lance has also stated that Sabu will not speak to someone unless they call him Sabu.

Wrestlers who also work for their promotion in a non-wrestling role are a natural target for the wrath of the internet fan. Triple H was almost universally hated. I say 'was' because there seems to have been an unprecedented change in opinion recently. I'd like to think that people came to a realisation that he actually brought something really good to RAW every week, but it might have just been because they missed having someone to bitch about. Now he's actually hated for being a 'heel', it seems, but not in the intended way. Weird. Of course, there's Jeff Jarrett, perhaps hated now more than ever, and in the UK, Alex Shane, no longer a full-time booker but supposedly still hated for it. But there was one guy who had always managed to avoid that - maybe just because he's not known by the majority of fans on the internet - Mitsuharu Misawa of Pro Wrestling NOAH in Japan. He was universally admired by all the Japanese wrestling fans on the web...until recently. Many have now turned on him after "news" surfaced about Misawa not wanting to lose a match in July. The fact that the match in question was damned good, and regardless of the many hours of entertainment each fan has been given by Misawa, all he is now is a selfish bastard. Nobody's safe from the random turnings-on of the internet. (Actually, while I'm mentioning Japan, one thing that's always confused me is this - how come when the Undertaker acts like his opponent's offence has no effect, it's something terrible to be bemoaned and criticised, but when someone like Kenta Kobashi does it, it's enjoyed and celebrated")

I was going to go further at this point. I have plenty of stuff left to complain about, including, but not limited to: Fans on the internet turning on wrestlers the moment they debut or are signed by WWE no matter how much they may have been liked up to that point, other seemingly random turns on previously-well-liked wrestlers, complaints about storylines being 'too fake' followed by complaints by the same people about storylines based on reality, fans trying to act 'smart' at live events rather than just enjoying the show, the desire to know EVERYTHING and then complaining that things aren't as unpredictable as they used to be (solution: stop reading "news" sites! I did in July when I decided I didn't want to know if Matt Hardy was supposed to be turning up on RAW, and since then the shows have somehow seemed better!), chants like 'You Fucked Up' (if you went to a Led Zeppelin concert and Jimmy Page played one wrong note during a solo, would you chant it at him"), the apparent obsession with 'botches', and certain things indy fans have tendencies to do.

Like I said, a ton of stuff left I want to rant about. But the anger I had when I started this column has, at this time, gone. It has faded away, and for some reason I'm not pissed off anymore. And if I don't care about what I'm writing about, it usually doesn't turn out well.

So this is an abrupt stop to Most Wanted, Vol II. Maybe I'll take up my rant again in six months' time...

by Langdon Beck --- [View Langdon Beck's Column Index]..