Here it is, ladies and gentlemen: the long-awaited sequel to the epic blockbuster that garnered such great reviews from most of the OWW fans that it encouraged me to go even deeper into the absolute worst in professional wrestling. There is no such thing as perfection and professional wrestling is not as any different from the fast food industry, the Presidency and other subjects whose potholes are so large you could drive an SUV through it. But the sad thing about wrestling is that you've got a bunch of losers, has-beens, crybabies, punks, prima donnas, egomaniacs and numbskulls who are doing an excellent job making the sport even more imperfect by the day. Rather it's Mr. Ass catering to the smarks by taking pathetic cheap shots at Triple H because of his failure to recognize HIMSELF as a failure or Goldberg's never-ending ego-trip that goes way beyond the stratosphere plus Mark Henry's lack of usefulness in the WWE, these guys are the main reasons why so many people are turning away from the sport and why many people are reluctant to work for certain companies.

Sadly, this trend has continued on with not just no-talent whiners but also whiners who have actual wrestling talent, whiners who could have become something amazing had they just taken a pistol, put a bullet in their egos and let their wrestling skills, not their arrogance, do the talking. It's just too bad certain wrestlers are too stupid to realize their actions and act like grown-ups. These crybabies would still have a job and be respected by their peers had it not been for their stupidity.

Before I continue on, there are many other wrestlers who should be on this list such as Teddy Hart, Lex Luger, Sean Waltman, Mark Jindrak and BG James but I decided not to do for a couple of reasons. One, I was writing an analysis on Teddy Hart when I found out that a OWW article was already written for him. It was written by Mark Rose, who did a better job tearing Teddy to pieces than I could ever imagine. Lex Luger is too easy as lambasting him is a waste of time. Sean Waltman has had enough share of ridicule and should be remembered for his fantastic international matches with Jerry Lynn as the Lightning Kid and had a successful stint with WWF in the early years. Jindrak, like his wrestling, is not interesting and BG James is basically Billy Gunn on pot.

So buckle up, put a helmet and get ready for a collision course with destiny as I finish the second half of the entire column with the morons, the egomaniacs, the punks, the crybabies and the losers of wrestling.

Sid Vicious - How could you describe such ineptitude with a straight face, especially ineptitude in the form of a guy who tried to look menacing by threatening to whack Brian Pillman with a squeegee? Has there even been a greater hopeless case than Sid Vicious? Just hearing him talk how big of a draw he was during his reign as WWF Champion provokes nothing but sheer hilarity. Seeing him wrestle like he had a pole stuck up his ass is equivalent to a Mel Brooks comedy. Listening to his mind-numbingly horrendous interviews insults the mind, destroys the brain and cackles a laugh or two. Like Sid said in one of his WCW interviews, he clearly does have half the brain...and a quarter of talent at that.

In all accounts, Sid is Kevin Nash, bigger the ego, greater the lack of talent and stupider the mind. Sid can brag all he wants about his self-proclaimed greatness but let's face it folks: Sid will never be as good as he says he is. Despite being a stubborn pain-in-the ass backstage and nonexistent workrate, this seven-foot Yeti was constantly pushed to the moon simply because of his size. In spite of tanking buyrates and drawing little house show revenues, companies saw Sid as the top guy of the promotion when in reality, he was a walking bomb set to destroy ratings in his path. Nobody ever bought Sid as the future of professional wrestling, not the employees, not the wrestlers and certainly not the fans. But Sid just kept coming back to the top and stinking up the main event scene.

What's even worse than his wrestling talent and his horrible main event drawing ability is his rampant ego. If you thought Goldberg was a self-centered punk, you've seen nothing in the part of Sid Vicious. This guy proclaimed that he drew greater ratings than Shawn Michaels when he was WWF Champion, faked injuries in wrestling just to play softball, refused to no-sell any wrestler he fought, referred to TNA as second-rate in his recent interview, nearly killed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors (how many times have we heard that story?), tell everyone that he is one of the top 3 wrestlers in the world and then accepted a challenge of putting a squirrel in his pants for 30 seconds, only to have the squirrel chew on his nuts and have him get stitches. Too bad the squirrel did not take a chunk of his brain because it would properly make Sid smarter. But then again, Sid did say he had half of the brain so maybe that's not a good idea.

So now Sid is at home, sulking to his leg injury and being forgotten by 99.4% of the wrestling fans (except his family). Serves him right after a decade of causing wrestlers to suffer his ego, fans to suffer his crappy in-ring performances and wrestling to suffer his unbearable presence. Hope you enjoy performing animal tricks with a squirrel, Sid. You're going to need them.

Juventud Guerrera - Or should I say the Juice? Maybe he ought to be given a more proper nickname. How about the Jerk? Or the Joke? If wrestling has proven anything, nobody how much talent or great wrestling ability you consist of, you screw things up for being an arrogant prick, you screw yourself up. Juventud Guerrera is the perfect example of this because here was a guy that was once heralded as one of the premiere cruiserweights of the 1990's and he pissed it all away due to his ego and obnoxious attitude towards other workers and employees. Juventud thought he was one of the best wrestlers in the world and indeed, he was. But he made a fatal mistake: he thought of himself as bigger than everyone. Teddy Hart has got nothing on this guy.

If you want any indication about this idiot's stupid backstage antics and delusional egotism, look no further than his adventurous tenure with the WWE. In the WWE, when he and the Mexicools were introduced to the SMACKDOWN roster, Vince McMahon made a tongue-in-cheek comment about making Juventud Guerrera a WWE Champion in the future. Everyone knew that Vince was only joking but Juventud really took this by heart. I'm serious, he actually believed Vince was going make him the WWE Champion in the future. And what followed were a series of classical events, such as Juventud referring himself in third person like The Rock, sandbagging to several wrestlers' offense and performing aerial moves that were unauthorized in the WWE. To make things funnier (and sadder), he felt he was above newer stars John Cena and Batista and even called himself "The Rock of Mexico". It was not long before he had his ass fired by Vincent Kennedy McMahon.

His response? He explained the firing was caused by his visa not being renewed. If that is not egotism, nothing else is.

Viewing upon a subject like this would be good for a laugh but in retrospective, it is actually sad. Sad to see an amazing athlete like Juventud Guerrera have himself step on dogsh*t due to his delusions of grandeur. Juventud redefined lucha libre wrestling and was one of the main factors in making WCW a true alternative to the WWF during the Monday Night Wars. Had his wrestling caliber matched his attitude, he would have become a success story of the new decade. But that is not the case and it is clear that Juventud will never learn anything from his mistakes. And it is his mistakes that got him to where he is at today: UNEMPLOYMENT!

All the XPW Wrestlers (with the exceptions of The Messiah, Jerry Lynn, Chris Candido and Terry Funk) This one's too easy but any fan with even the tiniest brain in the world will tell you that XPW was anything but an authentic wrestling company. These wannabe backyard wrestlers are a total disgrace to the name of professional wrestling and their employers deserve to have twenty stiff of chairshots for creating this laughable excuse of a promotion. From stealing other people's ideas (especially from ECW) to the pathetic backstage politics with Rob Black to the nonexistent in-ring quality, the company's stupidity caused it to go out of business a year or two ago but its legacy of crappiness and ineptitude shall forever live on, thanks in large part to the courageous "performances" of the so-called wrestlers, who were picked up from the streets and then told how to a wrestling move in less than a minute.

From this disgusting circus of freaks, clowns and stuntmen came Johnny Webb, a second-rate wrestler and substandard music video editor who ripped-off The Sandman in great detail; Kid Kaos, a bonafide spot monkey who looks as menacing as Winnie the Pooh; Pogo the Clown, a chunky blob whose only one of two wrestling moves he has is a clothesline; the other is licking a shovel; The WestSiders, no-talent morons that copyright New Jack's Original Gangsta gimmick and induced us in some of the worst interviews in wrestling; And the two leaders of the parade of the clowns, Supreme (biggest Mick Foley wannabe ever) and Angel (a homosexual whose theatrics in and out of the ring were absurd and tasteless). This is just 10% of the roster. I would love to continue on but that would be a waste of time.

The bottom line is that XPW was the epitome of sleaze and the wrestlers exemplified the suck that was Rob Black's diseased sewer. Whether it was Angel throwing himself stupidly off a scaffold or Johnny Webb's inability to deliver a proper legdrop, these self-proclaimed athletes "athletically" failed to wrestle and blew more spots than the glorified spot monkeys out there. There were some exceptions such as The Messiah, who headed straight for CZW and caused XPW to suffocate its own bag after making a murder plot that was attempted on him by Rob Black well-known to the public and several of my favorite wrestlers such as Jerry Lynn and Chris Candido, who probably had the right idea to get out of the company before further damage sank in their careers. But XPW will forever exist in the mind of millions of fans as a lesson of what not to do with your wrestling promotion and why it should never come to existence. Now XPW is dead and damn, proud of it.

Buff Bagwell - Heatless midcarder? Check. Refuses to job? Check. Stale gimmick? Check. Big-ass ego? Check. It must be X-Pac. Or Hardcore Holly. Or Rick Steiner. Those three fit the description perfectly but they can hardly compare to one Marcus Alexander Bagwell, who topples them all with his own ineptitude and childish antics. If any indication that WCW fell apart and went out of business, look no further than Buff Bagwell, an insolent crybaby, a thick-headed numbskull, an egomaniac to rank with the worst and a horrendous wrestler. He, like Hogan, Luger and Goldberg, turned a respectful company into a cesspool with feces leaking out of its filter.

What makes Buff the Mutt a terrible influence on professional wrestling? Simple, just look no further than his WWF run, which lasted shorter than all the Kevin Nash minutes in a year. Buff was part of the failed Invasion angle and made appearances that got a huge pop but when he was assigned a WCW world title against Booker T, he showcased his own ineptitude in and out of the ring. After being told not to wear a hat, he went out to do so and had one of the worst matches in the history of professional wrestling. What could have been a match to make the WCW angle successful became one of the many failures that botched what could have been the most profitable storyline since the formation of the nWo. Buff could have contributed greatly to help this angle but he blew it by putting on a crappy performance and letting his ego get the best of him.

Afterwards, Buff showed what a bonehead he was by criticizing Gregory "Hurricane" Helms as being small and saying he will never be a main eventer. The firestorm that followed cause Bradshaw to legitimately injure Buff with a double powerbomb and send him to unemployment. You hear that, Buff, you lost your job. Gregory Helms may never main event in a wrestling company but at least he still has a job while you sit your fat, plastic-calved ass in the couch at home and getting little payments at indies. Instant karma's gonna get you.

The irony about this situation was that back in WCW, Buff did the same juvenile antics in WCW and never got fired for it. Despite the fact that he faked injuries, whined about doing jobs, sucked up to an equally egotistical and equal failure Lex Luger, beat up casual workers and rumored to have an affair with DDP's wife, he was never fired for those actions. Yet one little comment on a midcarder in WWF and wearing a hat when told not to sent the fat ass to unemployment. Could WWF be a harsh environment for poor warm-hearted souls like Buff? Nah, it's just that in WWF, nobody takes bullshit from anybody, especially from punks like little Marcus.

Has there ever been any wrestling fan who knew who Buff Bagwell was to begin with? Probably not and after reading this, I'm sure some of you wish you never did.

Randy Orton - Who needs Lex Luger when we've got our very own choke artist? From blowing away title opportunities to jobbing to matches that should have helped cementing him as a legitimate threat to a disastrous babyface run, Randy Orton's choker label makes Luger seem relatively safe. All these factors were contributed by Orton's egotistical behavior and his deplorable treatment of women, the latter that proved to be the straw that broke the camel's back and send him into indefinite suspension. If Orton had substandard talent like Luger, the story would be funny. But it's not because unlike Luger, Orton actually had great talent and he could have been the breakout star of the WWE. Now he is suspended and there's a good chance that he might not come back. He had it all and shoved it away.

It's disappointing because for all his egotism, Randy Orton had the skills, charisma and heat to become a superstar. He was billed as the next Rock, he had a strong merchandise, his cocky interviews established his character further and he became one of the youngest World Heavyweight Champions. So what the hell happen? He thought of himself better and bigger than anyone else and got into the doghouse numerous times. As if that were enough, he had to go in his way and degrade women like they were dogs.

Let me just point out that any man who harasses women and scowls at them by calling them c-words for no reason is impotent. In this human world, we expect women to be treated like, well, humans. We want them to become doctors, lawyers and presidents. The main editor of OnlineWorldofWrestling.com is a female named Kirsty Quested. One of the greatest film critics of all time is a woman named Pauline Kael. We want women to become influential in our society, in any role they play rather it is movies, editing and of course, wrestling; some of the wrestling industry's great success stories are linked towards female athletes: Mae Young, Fabulous Moolah, Miss Elizabeth, Bull Nakano, Akira Hokuto, Alundra Blayze (before her breast implants), Joanie Laurer (before Playboy and her career was flushed), Francine, Dawn Marie, Lita and most recently, Trish Stratus, Mickie James and the president of TNA, Dixie Carter. We want female workers to become as great of an inspiration towards wrestling fans as the male athletes themselves. For Orton to go out and abuse women for his own personal agenda is just plain vomit-inducing.

I will never understand why Randy Orton stooped to something so low but possibly the only logical explanation was that he cared nothing in the world but himself and his self-centered attitude is easily reflected by these ridiculous events. How else to explain the reason of him jobbing to the Undertaker at Armageddon 2005, his plans of winning the World title after Batista's injury nixed or the fact that he was pinned by Rey Mysterio at WrestleMania 22? Had Orton just put a bullet in his ego, he would be a two-time World Heavyweight Champion and not Rey Mysterio or Kurt Angle. But his arrogance cost him big and now he is paying the price.

Like Juventud Guerrera and Teddy Hart, Randy Orton proves that no matter how much talent or athletic skills you have, if you cannot act like an adult and stop stirring the pot multiple times, you're going straight to the doghouse. Orton should have known better about his ego and his treatment of women and unless he gets his act together and stops being a bitch backstage, he will suffer even greater consequences in the future. All it takes is one more button to push, Orton and it's bye-bye WWE. Just ask Juvi.

Joanie Laurer (Chyna) - Shut up, Ultimate Woyah. Move over, Goldberg. Get out the way, Randy Orton. Joanie Laurer is here to make her unbearable presence felt.

I wrote earlier about how women should contribute greatly to the wrestling industry as much as men. But then there are other women who use the industry to put money in their pockets and shove their nauseating personalities down the throats of the fans and are then vanquished from wrestling due to their lust for greed, power and money. Enter Joanie Laurer, also known to wrestling fans around the world as Chyna or the woman that people thought had a penis in One Night in China. This is no comical jab at Chyna; the fallout of her wrestling career has been nothing short of tragic and miserable but Joanie went way over her head in part of her fame and glory and is now suffering big time. Before she flushed her career down the toilet, Joanie Laurer was the Hulk Hogan of the DIVAS. Much like the Huckster, she possessed below-average wrestling quality and only had good matches against the top workers in the business but her presence in the ring and outside of it left the crowd in awe. Her groundbreaking achievements such as being the first female to win the Intercontinental Championship and enter the Royal Rumble solidified her place as an inspiration to women everywhere, drew huge merchandise and became one of the most popular wrestlers in the WWE. Unfortunately, she shared another great similarity with Hogan, a similarity that wind up being the downfall of her career: she cared too much about herself.

Joanie Laurer on an episode of the Howard Stern Show.

It all started with her posing for Playboy and with so much fame and money, it was apparent that success had gone to her head. The culmination of her pathetic self-worthiness came at the Royal Rumble 2001 when she participated in a tasteless angle in which she "injured" herself with a crappy handspring elbow (a fat person could do better) and hurt her neck, prompting Jerry Lawler to rush to the ring while wrestling fans at home went to the showers to wash off the disgust towards a work that copies Owen Hart's death at Over the Edge 2001. Rather it had anything to do with the bookers is irrelevant but it was all crystal clear: Joanie wanted all the attention around here.

As if that were not enough, out came one of the worst books in wrestling history in Chyna: If They Only Knew, a sluggish, incoherent mess where Chyna does nothing but take jabs at those who find her unworthy like Matthew Broderick, Diane Keaton, Bill Goldberg (although she points out that he does not wrestle properly, let's not exactly let the pot call the kettle black as Chyna is no Ric Flair herself.) and her trainer Killer Kowalski and talked to herself like the equivalent, as Brad Dykens put it, of Hulk Hogan. You would think that Chyna would provide an inspiring story of how a ridiculed person rose to the top of the mountain but instead it's the other way around: the book is nothing but a nauseating ego trip that would make Hulk Hogan feel thankful that he's not the only wrestler out there who thinks too much about himself.

Everybody knows the aftermath: she got released from her contract and made herself the laughing stock of the world and the wrestling industry as a whole with a series of misadventures. From a failed music career and embarrassing television appearances on The Surreal Life to a sex tape that garnered more guffaws than temptations and disastrous interviews with Howard Stern, you cannot help but feel bad for Chyna, especially considering the way she wrote about herself on If They Only Knew but Joanie brought it upon herself thanks to her arrogance, ego and self-absorbed attitude and now she is suffering big time.

On the plus side, at least we don't have to deal with a gorilla doing cartwheels that a fat person would do better again.

Greg Gagne - Here is a real nepotist in professional wrestling and surprisingly, one of the few many people do not talk about. Triple H, Jeff Jarrett, Dustin Rhodes...they get their share of criticism for their main event pushes due to family relations but those three have got nothing on Greg Gagne, who was pushed to the top of the moon countless times since his father was the promoter of American Wrestling Association, the company he worked with and was considered by him as the top man of the company. Not surprisingly, this idea caused AWA to fall on its face and it served as one of the main contributions in the decline of American Wrestling Association.

Why? For one thing, nobody, the fans, the wrestlers and the management, ever saw anything special in Greg Gagne and in his performance in the ring showed. Greg's in-ring flair was simply unremarkable and he failed to generate any interest from the fans. His matches were redundant, dull and formulaic and his charisma was purely lacking. Yet Verne Gagne saw him as the top face of the company and failed to focus on other important matters, such as putting the emphasis on a real star attraction of AWA, an attraction named Hulk Hogan.

Unlike Greg, everybody in AWA saw Hulk Hogan as the real deal and who could disagree with them? The man had impeccable charisma, his showmanship and presence in the ring, workrate be damned, drew huge crowds and his ability to connect with the fans was so incredible, the AWA was forced to him into a compelling face and push him in the main event program against then-reigning champion Nick Bockwinkel. Even so, Verne refused to make Hogan the World Champion for a couple of reasons. One was that Verne did not respect Hogan as a pure wrestler (in an interview years later, Greg rated Hogan 1 out of 10 on the wrestling ability scale) and two, he saw his own son as the main star and as the future of his company.

Verne's refusal to make Hogan the champion was a huge blow and Hulk went to WWF land and become the phenomenon that was "Hulkamania". And still despite his own mistake, Verne was so hell bent on making Greg the top star that he even had to turn Curt Henning into heel so as to not overtake his heat plus having his son hold the Television Championship for over a year in 1988, even though fans could not stand him, as evident in the first and only AWA pay-per-view SuperClash III, where fans wanted Ron Garvin win the TV title from him and smothered Greg with huge boos.

Many people will compare this scenario to Triple H and indeed, the similarities are connected. But the main difference between these two have to do with drawing abilities, fan reactions, great in-ring ability and charisma. Triple H has all four; Greg did not. And unlike Triple H, who is a full-fledged personality, Greg was merely a bland wrestler with bland charisma, bland wrestling and a bland fan following. And unlike Greg, Triple H did not kill his own company due to family relations.

Well, hope everyone enjoyed this article. Please respond. Feedback is most encouraging.

by Joe L. --- [View Joe L's Column Index]..