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WWE SMACKDOWN! RESULTS

 December 18, 2003
Jacksonville, Florida
Announcers: Michael Cole & Tazz

  1. VELOCITY TAPINGS:
    • Cruiserweight Champion Tajiri defeated Paul London..
    • Matt Morgan defeated Sho Funaki..
    • Johnny Stamboli defeated Brian Kendrick..
    • Billy Kidman & Ultimo Dragon defeated Akio & Sakoda..

  2. IN THE RING: John Cena..
    • John Cena gives a holiday rap about getting shafted every Christmas for the last 26 years..
    • John Cena then joins the announce position with Michael Cole & Tazz..

  3. NON (US) TITLE MATCH: The Big Show vs Orlando Jordan..
    • Non-title? WHAT THE HELL! Put it on someone who will wear it with pride and defend it GRRRR!!!
    • The Big Show toys with Orlando Jordan, who got a little offence before getting chokeslammed and pinned!
    • The Big Show will face John Cena in Iraq next week (geeee can you say TITLE CHANGE?!)

  4. BACKSTAGE: Bob Holly..
    • A security guard stops Bob Holly as he enters the arena, and says he's not allowed in the building..
    • Bob Holly says that Paul Heyman called him and personally asked him to be here tonight..
    • Another group of security guards confirm Bob Holly's claim and escort him to his room..

  5. IN THE RING: A-Train & Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar/Matt Morgan..
    • A-Train comes to the ring at the request of Paul Heyman, who comes out flanked by Brock Lesnar & Matt Morgan..
    • Brock Lesnar confronts A-Train (who is about 4 inches taller than Brock Lesnar) about losing to Shannon Moore..
    • Matt Morgan says that A-Train lost to Shannon Moore and lost a ton of Team Lesnar's money!
    • Brock Lesnar demands to hear A-Trains excuse, and hands over the microphone..
    • A-Train says he's been waiting for weeks to say "I'm sorry" ---- "for letting him down two weeks in a row"
    • A-Train says he got what he deserved, he got his ass kicked by Matt Morgan & The Big Show..
    • Paul Heyman says A-Train can make it up by taking care of a "problem" --- Hardcore Holly..
    • Paul Heyman sets up a match for Hardcore Holly, saying if he wins, he can get a dream match of his choosing..
    • Paul Heyman says that if Hardcore Holly loses, his WWE contract will be terminated..
    • Paul Heyman books Hardcore Holly & Shannon vs Matt Morgan & A-Train for later..

  6. TAG TITLE 4-WAY: The Basham Brothers vs Los Guerreros vs Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin vs Rikishi/Scotty Too Hotty..
    • One fall, sudden death, which means The Bashams don't even have to be in the ring to lose the titles..
    • The Basham Brothers used a confusing switcharoo to pin Chavo Guerrero and retain their tag team titles!

  7. BACKSTAGE: Paul Heyman & Dawn "Oh My God Look at that Dress" Marie..
    • Paul Heyman announces Brock Lesnar will pick a name out of a hat and defend the WWE title later..

  8. IN THE RING: Ernest "The Cat" Miller + Sable + Vince McMahon..
    • This week's installment of the least entertaining performer on the Smackdown! roster..
    • Sable interrupts The Cat's dancing and asks what he was thinking when he planted a kiss on her last week..
    • Ernest Miller says that Sable didn't look so hot and he tried to warm her up with his "Hot Cat Sugar"..
    • Ernest Miller tries to force himself onto Sable again, bringing out Vince McMahon (miss me?)..
    • Maurice (Cat's male valet) held the ropes open for Vince McMahon, who flung him off onto the mat..
    • Vince McMahon says nobody puts their hands on Sable, except for him, and asks who he thinks he is..
    • The Cat introduces himself as the "greatest of all time"..
    • Vince McMahon says the Cat isn't the greatest, because HE'S the greatest..
    • The Cat says Vince McMahon isn't the greatest performer of all time..
    • Vince McMahon asks to hit the Cat's music, and then does a very pathetic dance..
    • Vince McMahon, Sable & The Cat dance around the ring, but Vince turns and kicks The Cat between the legs!
    • Editor's Note: It's true what they say, two wrongs DON'T make a right..

  9. #1 CONTENDERS MATCH: Rey Mysterio vs Jamie Noble w/Nidia (still blinded)..
    • Jamie Noble threw Nidia into the ring and tried to use her as a distraction but it backfired!
    • Rey Mysterio fought back and scored the pinfall to become #1 Contender to Tajiri's CW title..
    • Jamie Noble tells Nidia that Rey Mysterio was the one who assualted her, and she cries in Noble's shoulder..
    • Editor's Note: This angle makes no sense, nobody tells Nidia the truth? Is Nidia that retarded that she can't stay home?

  10. INTERVIEW: Josh Mathews & Hardcore Holly..
    • Hardcore Holly says he doesn't have a choice tonight, he has to compete tonight to keep his job..
    • Hardcore Holly says that if he wins tonight, he wants a title shot against Brock Lesnar..
    • Hardcore Holly says he's going to break Brock Lesnar's neck and take his title!

  11. MATCH: Chris Benoit vs Chuck Palumbo..
    • Nunzio & Johnny Stamboli were ejected from ringside before the match even got started..
    • Chris Benoit hit a top rope headbutt but Chuck Palumbo kicked out after a 2-count..
    • Chris Benoit then locked Chuck Palumbo in the crippler crossface for the victory..
    • Nunzio & Johnny Stamboli returned to the ring and attacked Chris Benoit for a 3-on-1 assault..

  12. BACKSTAGE: Nidia & The Trainer + Rey Mysterio..
    • Nidia is getting checked out by the trainer, with Jamie Noble nowhere to be found..
    • Rey Mysterio shows up and tries to explain to Nidia what Jamie Noble has been doing to her recently..
    • Nidia whines and cries like a brainless 3-year old and tells Rey to go away..

  13. IN THE RING: Rhyno & Farooq..
    • Rhyno comes out and says he's 1-and-1 in matches with Bradshaw recently, and wants a rubber match tonight!
    • Rhyno, knowing Bradshaw is on tour in Iraq, tells the referee to declare him the winner by foreit..
    • Suddenly the APA music hits and Farooq came out to defend his partner's honor..

  14. MATCH: Rhyno vs Farooq..
    • Rhyno hit Farooq with a low-blow and referee Nick Patrick awarded the match to Farooq by DQ..
    • Rhyno hit a cheap Gore on Farooq after the match..

  15. BACKSTAGE: Paul Heyman & Dawn "I'm Almost Falling Out of this Dress" Marie..
    • Paul Heyman talks about the possible matchups that could come out of the tumbler tonight..
    • Dawn Marie doesn't really have any lines, she just kind of acts like she wants to get a "raise"..

  16. IN THE RING: Paul Heyman (with two security guards) + Brock Lesnar..
    • NWA Florida HVT Champion Steve Madison and former NWA Florida Jr. HVT Champion Lex Lovett played security guards..
    • Brock Lesnar reaches into the tumbler and pulls out a ball, and pretends to be upset, but says he picked Shannon Moore!

  17. WWE TITLE MATCH: Brock Lesnar vs Shannon Moore..
    • The story here is that Team Lesnar rigged the draw, because Shannon Moore is teaming with Hardcore Holly later..
    • Brock Lesnar toys with Shannon Moore before making him tap out to the "Brock Lock" submission..
    • Brock Lesnar goes over to the tumbler and picks out other balls, revealing that they all said Shannon Moore!

  18. TAG MATCH: Hardcore Holly & Shannon Moore vs A-Train & Matt Morgan..
    • Brock Lesnar remains at ringside surrounded by a team of security guards to protect him from Bob Holly..
    • A-Train & Matt Morgan hit the ring and go right after Shannon Moore, who was still laid out from his match!
    • Mid-way through the match, Brock Lesnar whacked Bob Holly over the head with a steel chair!
    • Hardcore Holly hit a spinbuster on Matt Morgan for the pin to win a title shot against Brock Lesnar!

  19. Smackdown! goes OFF THE AIR....

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