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WWE RAW RESULTS

April 17, 2006
St. Louis, Missouri
Announcers: Joey Styles & Jerry Lawler & The Coach

  1. INTERNET HEAT TAPINGS:

  2. IN THE RING: Vince McMahon...
    • Vince McMahon suggested that he may have offended people last week and his son says he may end up going to Hell.
    • Vince McMahon then created his new religion called "McMahanism" him being the Lord of all Sports-Entertainment..
    • Vince McMahon then showed a series of Photoshopped religious and biblical photographs causing fans to chant "Boring!"
    • Vince McMahon quickly picked up on the chants and said "I assure you this is not boring" and continued confidently..
    • Vince McMahon said there was at least one person in the building who will not convert, and that is Shawn Michaels..
    • Vince McMahon then dared God to "strike him down" if he's lieing -- so Shawn Michaels showed up and super-kicked him!
    • Shawn Michaels left the ring and then ran back and stood over Vince's body and gave him the old DX crotch chop!
    • Editor's Notes: Mr. McMahon you've been offending me for years with stupid storylines like this stupid storyline..

  3. BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon & Triple H..
    • Vince McMahon was being helped backstage when he bumped into Triple H, who suggested he cool it with the God stuff..
    • Vince McMahon got upset with Triple H and remembered HHH calling him "old man" so he booked HHH vs Cena & Edge later..

  4. MATCH: Kane destroyed Rob Conway..
    • After the match, Kane attacked Lilian Garcia for mentioning "May 19" even though she didn't say anything about it..
    • The Big Show came down and confronted Kane and they grabbed eachothers throats but Big Show got the choke-slam on Kane!
    • The Big Show walked away as Kane sat up inside the ring with an evil maniacal grin on his face...

  5. SIT-DOWN INTERVIEW: Jim Ross & Chavo Guerrero..
    • Jim Ross welcomes Chavo Guerrero and recaps what happened last week and hopes Chavo reconsiders and stays with WWE..
    • Chavo Guerrero said he reconsidered and that he thought long and hard and said he thinks he made the right decision..
    • Chavo Guerrero said that he and Eddie always supported eachother and thinks there are other things on the horizon..
    • Jim Ross explained that it was only 1 loss and believes that Eddie Guerrero would not approve of Chavo quitting..
    • Chavo Guerrero said he feels that his wrestling career has come to and end and shakes JR's hand and cries..

  6. MATCH: Charlie Haas defeated Shelton Benjamin...
    • If Shelton wins, then RVD puts up his MITB contract-- but if Shelton loses, he must put up the IC title against RVD..
    • Rob Van Dam's hand-picked opponent was Shelton Benjamin's formed "Worlds Greatest Tag Team" partner Charlie Haas!
    • Nobody remembered Charlie Haas, he looked very different with a porno beard, new tights, and a smaller build..
    • Shelton Benjamin did the R-V-D thumb move and then nailed Charlie Haas with the Rolling Thunder (RVD's move)..
    • Shelton Benjamin went for a frog-splash but missed and rolled through..
    • Charlie Haas then rolled him up to win!

  7. BACKSTAGE: Vince McMahon + Armando Alejandro Estrada + Shelton Benjamin..
    • Armando Alejandro Estrada said he recently converted to McMahonism and offers the services of his man Umaga..
    • Armando Alejandro Estrada suggested Vince McMahon book Shawn Michaels in a match with Umaga tonight..
    • Vince McMahon agreed to book the match, NEXT, and Armando Alejandro Estrada left the office..
    • Shelton Benjamin came in and begged Vince McMahon not to make him defend the Intercontinental title at Backlash..
    • Shelton Benjamin said he followed the light to Vince McMahon's office and said only McMahonism can help him..
    • Shelton Benjamin was on his knees, and Vince McMahon said he liked people on their knees (TSN cut to commercial)

  8. MATCH: Shawn Michaels vs Umaga w/Armando Alejandro Estrada..
    • Vince McMahon came down to ringside and took a seat to watch the match close-up..
    • Vince McMahon & Armando Alejandro Estrada interfered and Umaga destroyed HBK until the referee DQ'd Umaga..
    • Vince McMahon stopped Umaga and sent him to the back, saying that he wants to finish Shawn Michaels off himself..
    • Vince McMahon tied Shawn Michaels into the ropes and went to get a steel chair from ringside..
    • Every time Vince McMahon tried to enter the ring, there was an "explosion" (get it? A sign from God!)..
    • Vince McMahon retreated with fear until the stage exploded with fire and knocked Vince on his ass!
    • During the commercial, Vince McMahon jumped in his limousine and escape the Savvis Center..

  9. WWE 24/7 THIS WEEK IN WRESTLING: The Rock throwing Steve Austin & his belt into the Detroit river..

  10. IN THE RING: Matt Striker returned to RAW (he was buried on HEAT) with his chalk board..
    • Dean Doug.... I mean Matt Striker preached to fans from the ring and basically said they were all dumb..
    • Matt Striker said the people were more concerned with being "cool" then they are with being "smart"..
    • Matt Striker said he had a messege for those people ------------------------- School is Cool!
    • Haktui! I spit in the face of people who don't want to be cool --- Carlito Cool comes to the ring...
    • Carlito Cool said he was looking for his apple backstage and then he realized that Striker took it..
    • Carlito Cool spit the apple in Matt Striker's face and attacked him until Chris Masters attacked him!
    • Chris Masters put Carlito Cool in the Masterlock until he passed out and dropped to the mat..

  11. HANDICAP MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs The Spirit Squad (Mikey & Kenny & Nicky & Johnny & Mitch)..
    • If RVD wins then he doesn't have to defend the MITB-- If RVD loses then it will be IC title vs MITB..
    • Shelton Benjamin's hand-picked opponent(s) were all five members of the Spirit Squad!
    • Rob Van Dam put up a good fight but was eventually over-powered but the Spisit Squad..

  12. INTERVIEW: Maria Kanellis & Trish Stratus (dressed as Mickie James)..
    • Maria Kanellis admitted that she was really confused and didn't really know who she was interviewing..
    • Trish Stratus (impersonating Mickie James) bounced around saying she had a surprise for Mickie James in the ring..

  13. IN THE RING: Trish Stratus (as Mickie James) + Mickie James (as Trish Stratus)..
    • Editor's Notes: This is so cool :P
    • Trish Stratus came out dressed as Mickie James and bounced around the ring just like Mickie James..
    • Trish Stratus said her surprise is "really awesome" and asked Women's Champion Mickie James to come out..
    • Mickie James came out really confused and cautious and said she doesn't think she wants the present..
    • Trish Stratus opened the box and found her ex-boyfriend Jack (Jack in the box) tied up and gagged..
    • Trish Stratus then changed her tond and told Mickie James to stop talking and acting like Trish..
    • Mickie James hesitated and yelled "get your filthy hands off my boyfriend" and attacked Trish..
    • Trish Stratus made short work of Mickie James and laid her out with a chick-kick..
    • Mickie James got up and consoled Jack and then kicked him in the head for cheating on her!

  14. BACKSTAGE: Edge w/Lita & Triple H..
    • Triple H said John Cena was his partner last week and he stabbed him in the back and will stab Edge too..
    • Triple H said Edge can blame Mick Foley all he wants but John Cena is the one who took the WWE title..

  15. HANDICAP MATCH: Triple H vs John Cena & Edge w/Lita..
    • As expected the match fell apart quickly as Edge & Cena started fighting and Triple H found a sledgehammer..
    • Triple H smashed John Cena's forehead with the sledgehammer and Edge speared Triple H and pinned him to win!

  16. And that's a wrap folks..


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