He is a multi-time Wrestling Champion. He bodyslammed and pinned the 525-pound Eight Wonder of the World in front of 93,000 people. He's been victorious over the likes of Big John Studd, King Kong Bundy, Terry Funk, Ric Flair, Randy Savage, and Rowdy Roddy Piper. He was the leader of wrestling's most dominant outlaw group called the NWO. He's even the cultivator of the 24-inch pythons, brother! Now, on VH-1, you can watch this wrestling icon and media crossover superstar lose any credibility he used to have as a tough-guy wrestler as he disturbingly stalks his daughter and interacts bizarrely with his family on his new reality show, Hogan Knows Best. Mildly entertaining at best, The Hogans are definitely not The Osbournes.

Set primarily in his home, Hogan Knows Best debuted last night and introduced the world to Linda (Hogan's wife), Nick (Hogan's oddball son), and 16-going-on-27-year-old Brooke (Hogan's daughter). The family seems pretty average to me and not all that interesting, except for the Hulkster's strange (and, at times, discomforting) antics. Don't get me wrong; I will always be a card-carrying Hulkamaniac, but do I need to see the Hulkster meandering barefoot around his palatial estate with a multitude of colorful headbands on his bald skull" Oh, Hulk, by the way, 1985 called, and they'd like their rainbow-colored workout pants back. Yes, he does wearing these clothes, which make it embarrassing to watch. Also, this guy has more sleeveless shirts than Matt Striker. But Hogan's poor choice of clothing is not going to make or break this show.

What's most annoying about this show is that is it so obviously created to launch Brooke's singing career that it's insulting to viewers. Brooke is a budding star who desires a career in the music biz and has even adopted Hogan's fictitious surname as her own in order to gain recognition. I guess Brooke Bollea is a little less marketable, but it is alliterative. Anyway, the premiere episode focuses on 16-year-old Brooke going on a date with Nick's friend, 22-year-old Adam. As about as overprotective as a father can be without being creepy (which he is at times), Hogan isn't too happy about the idea of Brooke and Adam dating. However, since this is a television show, Hogan okays the date if Adam agrees to speak to him first. Adam, who really resembles NYWC and Smackdown superstar Brett Matthews, reveals bits of his sexual history to the Hulkster and offers some lame compliments as well in one of the most awkward conversations I have ever witnessed. Adam actually says, "You sure those guns didn't get bigger since the last time"" Hogan's reply" Very dryly, he says, "They're about the same." The interaction is mildly entertaining, if it wasn't shown previously on WWE Raw, which Hogan returned to, surprisingly, at the exact time his show was to debut. Coincidence" I think not.

Now, here's when Hogan gets creepy. He decides to allow the date, but not before he secretly installs a tracking system in Brooke's truck and informs the loving couple that Adam's "Blue Beast" will not be suitable transportation. Hogan then tracks the entire date on his computer while Nick and Linda look on. Hogans, isn't there something on television you'd like to watch" I appreciate family bonding, but this is ridiculous. I'm all for being responsible for your kids and protecting them when necessary, but Hogan, who gives Brooke a hard time about going on her first date yet allows her to wear a tight top and short skirt and flash the television audience her skimpy shorts underneath, calls her several times during the date. If I were Adam, I'd probably try to meet someone my own age. Hey Adam, stick to college girls without psycho fathers. Plus, the girl's 16. What's wrong with you" My question is this: if the Hulkster didn't trust or like Adam, why allow the date" Oh, I know! It's reality television, and attractive as young Brooke may be, watching her pout in her room for 30 minutes isn't great television.

After Brooke and Adam leave the house, Nick, who I believe is 14, lets the viewers and his parents know that Adam has taken him to topless and gay beaches when they were in Miami together. Ahhh, the plot thickens. Question: do many 14-year-olds and 22-year-olds socialize and go to topless and gay beaches together while spending time together in Miami" I guess they do in Hoganville. Hulk (or Terry, as Linda refers to him) is none too pleased with this information and makes a few more disturbing calls to Brooke. Nick also alerts his folks to the fact that Adam has pierced nipples and alcohol all over his dorm room. Again, why was 14-year-old Nick in Adam's room" I assume he saw Adam's nipples on either the gay or topless beach, but who's keeping score" Perhaps Nick's experiences would make for better reality television. However, Nick isn't the one with a budding singing career.

The only comparison I can make here is to The Osbournes. I love Ozzy's music and have for many years, but watching him as a stumbling, bumbling, helpless moron has reduced my respect for him quite a bit. I can't help but wonder if Hogan Knows Best will do the same. The Osbournes are a much crazier family, but Kelly's career had a brief launch during the show's tenure. Perhaps if Nick develops a severe addiction to pain killers and Linda goes for a slew of plastic surgery (if she hasn't already), Hogan Knows Best can compete. We'll see. Hogan Knows Best airs on Sunday nights at 10. While the first episode was a less-than-stellar 30 minutes, perhaps things may pick up. Whatcha gonna do, brother" Give Hogan Knows Best a peek if you like wrestling, reality television, or weird father-daughter relationships.

by Mason Raige - www.masonraige.com..